People want to fake being sick primarily for two reasons: to either stay home from school or stay home from work. There are other reasons, including avoiding someone you don’t want to hang out with, or simply trying to get out of doing something you don’t want to do. To pull of a fake sickness, you need to be very convincing; people are always suspicious when you get sick just when it’s time to do something. Here are some ideas:

Figure out who you need to convince

If you’re trying to stay home from school for the day, you’ll likely need to convince one or both of your parents. If you want to stay home from work, chance are you will just have to convince your direct superior, aka your boss. With your parents, you’ll have to convince them face to face, whereas with someone at work, you’ll typically just have to talk to them over the phone. Know who your targets are beforehand so you can better plan how to convince them you’re sick.

Early planning

One of the best ways to fake sick is to plan early. If you complain about not feeling well on a Tuesday, for example, it will be more believable when you end up “sick” on Wednesday. Don’t lay it on too thick otherwise it will come off as obvious; just make some general statements that you aren’t feeling well. Another good idea is to say something like “I really hope I’m not getting sick, I have so much to do this week!” – that line works particularly well.

Known your symptoms

Once you’ve successfully done the “setup” in step #2, you need to come up with some actual symptoms. When you say you’re sick, the first question you’re going to hear is: “What’s wrong with you?”. Be ready for this question and make sure it matches up with what you said the day before. If you mentioned you just weren’t feeling well in general the day before, get more specific now.

If it’s your boss or someone you’re talking to over the phone, you can tell them you’ve been throwing up, have diarrhea or a high fever. If it’s your parents, you can’t really make that stuff up. You’ll have to convince your parents that you feel nauseous, weak and tired – common symptoms of the flu.

Be consistent

This is especially important if you’re staying home from school and your parents are around. Don’t stop faking sick and get mysteriously better after they’ve agreed to let you stay home. This will greatly ruin your chances of pulling off the same trick again in the near future. Instead, wait until later in the evening and say you’re starting to feel a little bit better, but you’re going to get a good night’s sleep and see how you feel in the morning.

The same theory applies at work or if you’re going to see the person you avoided the next day. Don’t act like you’re fully recovered a day after being sick. Keep up the act, and they’ll believe you next time as well.